Halloween. The day I become a Valyrian princess.
I hate watching children take what’s rightfully mine. If my parents bought it, isn’t the candy MINE? Yet, children come like crowds of beggars to steal all the happiness I could’ve had. What am I to do, go trick or treating? What would I go as, a giant?
All day long I’ve been taking what’s rightfully mine, slow and steady. I started with the kingdoms of KitKat and Aero bars, then worked my way to the small Hi-Chew castle. I slipped in and out, leaving behind only a faint rustle — darn loud plastic. Come nightfall, my parents would be surprised at how fast the candy runs out. And my precioussss always runs out. Unlike something erratic as hiding drugs from my parents, all I have to do is take out the trash — all the wrappers nestled inside — the evidence disappears.
Or I might stand outside my house, beat pots and pans, yell. That should scare away the little thieves. I mean, who wouldn’t be terrified at the sound of a dragon?
“How evil!” one might say. But in truth, I’m helping the children avoid diabetes and dental decay. I floss every day and brush twice a day. I’ve earned myself good oral hygiene, thus deserve your child’s candy.
Edit: Currently giving out candy, having a blast. I’m either out of my mind or… officially an adult.
Thank for reading! 🙂
–Thomas J. Benedicts